Office Humor

Yaa Devi Sarva Bhuteshu - Prayer and its Meaning

Yaa Devi Sarva Bhuteshu, Vishnumayeti Shabdita

Namastasyai, Namastasyai, Namastasyai Namo Namaha

Yaa Devi Sarva Bhuteshu Buddhi Rupena Samsthita

Namastasyai, Namastasyai, Namastasyai Namo Namaha

Yaa Devi Sarva Bhuteshu Shakti Rupena Samsthita

Namastasyai, Namastasyai, Namastasyai Namo Namaha

Yaa Devi Sarva Bhuteshu Shanti Rupena Samsthita

Namastasyai, Namastasyai, Namastasyai Namo Namaha

Yaa Devi Sarva Bhuteshu Lajja Rupena Samsthita

Namastasyai, Namastasyai, Namastasyai Namo Namaha

Yaa Devi Sarva Bhuteshu Shanti Rupena Samsthita

Namastasyai, Namastasyai, Namastasyai Namo Namaha

Yaa Devi Sarva Bhuteshu Shradda Rupena Samsthita

Namastasyai, Namastasyai, Namastasyai Namo Namaha

Yaa Devi Sarva Bhuteshu Kaanti Rupena Samsthita

Namastasyai, Namastasyai, Namastasyai Namo Namaha

Yaa Devi Sarva Bhuteshu LakshmiRupena Samsthita

Namastasyai, Namastasyai, Namastasyai Namo Namaha

Yaa Devi Sarva Bhuteshu Dayaa Rupena Samsthita

Namastasyai, Namastasyai, Namastasyai Namo Namaha

Yaa Devi Sarva Bhuteshu Maatru Rupena Samsthita

Namastasyai, Namastasyai, Namastasyai Namo Namaha

O Goddess Durga, who in all beings is called Vishnumaya

Humble Salutations, Salutations, Salutations to Thee, again, and again.

To that Goddess who abides in all beings as Intelligence: Salutations to Thee, O Mother Divine

To that Goddess who abides in all beings as Sleep : Salutations to Thee, O Mother Divine

To that Goddess who abides in all beings as Hunger : Salutations to Thee, O Mother Divine

To that Goddess who abides in all beings as Reflection : Salutations to Thee, O Mother Divine

To that Goddess who abides in all beings as Power : Salutations to Thee, O Mother Divine

To that Goddess who abides in all beings as Thirst : Salutations to Thee, O Mother Divine

To that Goddess who abides in all beings as Forgiveness : Salutations to Thee, O Mother Divine

To that Goddess who abides in all beings as Modesty : Salutations to Thee, O Mother Divine

To that Goddess who abides in all beings as Peace : Salutations to Thee, O Mother Divine

To that Goddess who abides in all beings as Faith : Salutations to Thee, O Mother Divine

To that Goddess who abides in all beings as Love : Salutations to Thee, O Mother Divine

To that Goddess who abides in all beings as Wealth and Good Fortune : Salutations to Thee, O Mother Divine

To that Goddess who abides in all beings as Activity : Salutations to Thee, O Mother Divine

To that Goddess who abides in all beings as Memory : Salutations to Thee, O Mother Divine

To that Goddess who abides in all beings as Compassion : Salutations to Thee, O Mother Divine

To that Goddess who abides in all beings as Consciousness : Salutations to Thee, O Mother Divine

To that Goddess who abides in all beings as Contentment ; Salutations to Thee, O Mother Divine

To that Goddess who abides in all beings as Mother : Who manifests as Intelligence; Salutations to Thee, O Mother Divine

To that Goddess who abides in all beings as Mother : Who abides in all beings as the form of Compassion; Salutations to Thee, O Mother Divine

To that Goddess who abides in all beings as Mother : Who abides in all beings as the form of Genius; Salutations to Thee, O Mother Divine

To that Goddess who abides in all beings as Mother : Who abides in all beings as the form of Contentment; Salutations to Thee, O Mother Divine

To that Goddess who abides in all beings as Mother : Who abides in all beings as the form of Delusion; Salutations to Thee, O Mother Divine

To that Goddess who abides in all beings as Mother : Salutations to Thee, O Mother Divine; the Ruler of all the Elements and Senses. Salutations to The again and again

To that Goddess who abides in all beings as Mother : Salutations to Thee, O Mother Divine

Sarve Bhavantu Sukhina; Sarve Bhavantu Sukhina

May One and All be Happy;May One and All have well-being;

May Happiness be showered on all;May One and All be Healthy

O Lord Protect us

O Lord Guide us

O Lord Grant us Wisdom

O Lord Lead us from darkness to Light (From ignorance to Knowledge)

O Lord May there be Universal Peace, Happiness, Prosperity and Progress

गब्बर सिंह का चरित्र चित्रण

1. सादा जीवन, उच्च विचार: उसके जीने का ढंग बड़ा सरल था. पुराने और मैले कपड़े, बढ़ी हुई दाढ़ी, महीनों से जंग खाते दांत और पहाड़ों पर खानाबदोश जीवन. जैसे मध्य कालीन भारत का फकीर हो. जीवन में अपने लक्ष्य की ओर इतना समर्पित कि ऐशो-आराम और विलासिता के लिए एक पल की भी फुर्सत नहीं. और विचारों में उत्कृष्टता के क्या कहने! 'जो डर गया, सो मर गया' जैसे संवादों से उसने जीवन की क्षण भंगुरता पर प्रकाश डाला था.

२. दयालु प्रवृत्ति: ठाकुर ने उसे अपने हाथों से पकड़ा था. इसलिए उसने ठाकुर के सिर्फ हाथों को सज़ा दी. अगर वो चाहता तो गर्दन भी काट सकता था. पर उसके ममतापूर्ण और करुणामय ह्रदय ने उसे ऐसा करने से रोक दिया.

3. नृत्य-संगीत का शौकीन: 'महबूबा ओ महबूबा' गीत के समय उसके कलाकार ह्रदय का परिचय मिलता है. अन्य डाकुओं की तरह उसका ह्रदय शुष्क नहीं था. वह जीवन में नृत्य-संगीत एवं कला के महत्त्व को समझता था. बसन्ती को पकड़ने के बाद उसके मन का नृत्य प्रेमी फिर से जाग उठा था. उसने बसन्ती के अन्दर छुपी नर्तकी को एक पल में पहचान लिया था. गौरतलब यह कि कला के प्रति अपने प्रेम को अभिव्यक्त करने का वह कोई अवसर नहीं छोड़ता था.

4. अनुशासनप्रिय नायक: जब कालिया और उसके दोस्त अपने प्रोजेक्ट से नाकाम होकर लौटे तो उसने कतई ढीलाई नहीं बरती. अनुशासन के प्रति अपने अगाध समर्पण को दर्शाते हुए उसने उन्हें तुरंत सज़ा दी.

5. हास्य-रस का प्रेमी: उसमें गज़ब का सेन्स ऑफ ह्यूमर था. कालिया और उसके दो दोस्तों को मारने से पहले उसने उन तीनों को खूब हंसाया था. ताकि वो हंसते-हंसते दुनिया को अलविदा कह सकें. वह आधुनिक युG का 'लाफिंग बुद्धा' था.

6. नारी के प्रति सम्मान: बसन्ती जैसी सुन्दर नारी का अपहरण करने के बाद उसने उससे एक नृत्य का निवेदन किया. आज-कल का खलनायक होता तो शायद कुछ और करता.

7. भिक्षुक जीवन: उसने हिन्दू धर्म और महात्मा बुद्ध द्वारा दिखाए गए भिक्षुक जीवन के रास्ते को अपनाया था. रामपुर और अन्य गाँवों से उसे जो भी सूखा-कच्चा अनाज मिलता था, वो उसी से अपनी गुजर-बसर करता था. सोना, चांदी, बिरयानी या चिकन मलाई टिक्का की उसने कभी इच्छा ज़ाहिर नहीं की.

8. सामाजिक कार्य: डकैती के पेशे के अलावा वो छोटे बच्चों को सुलाने का भी काम करता था. सैकड़ों माताएं उसका नाम लेती थीं ताकि बच्चे बिना कलह किए सो जाएं. सरकार ने उसपर 50,000 रुपयों का इनाम घोषित कर रखा था. उस युग में 'कौन बनेगा करोड़पति' ना होने के बावजूद लोगों को रातों-रात अमीर बनाने का गब्बर का यह सच्चा प्रयास था.

9. महानायकों का निर्माता: अगर गब्बर नहीं होता तो जय और वEEरू जैसे लुच्चे-लफंगे छोटी-मोटी चोरियां करते हुए स्वर्ग सिधार जाते. पर यह गब्बर के व्यक्तित्व का प्रताप था कि उन लफंगों में भी महानायक बनने की क्षमता जागी.

Ganesha Aarti

(जयदेव जयदेव जय मंगल मूर्ति, हो श्रीमंगल मूर्ति, दर्शनमात्रे मनन कामना पूर्ति जयदेव जयदेव) - २
सिंदूर लाल चढायो अपने ही मन का, सुन्दर लाल विराजे सूत गौरी शिव का |
हाथ में है गूढ़ लड्डू प्रभु गजानन के, महिमा कहू तो कैसे, झुकाऊ सिर पद में || (जयदेव जयदेव)
गणेशा तेरा रूप निराला कोटि सूर्य का है तुझमें उजाला | लंबोदर पीतांबर तेरा क्या कहना, सरल सुन्द वक्र तुन्दत्री नैना || (जयदेव जयदेव)
सिंदूर रंजित हर अंग सुन्दर मोतियों की माला चमके गले पर | सर्व गुण सपन्न ओ गौरी नंदन, तुझको भाये कुमकुम केसर चन्दन || (जयदेव जयदेव)
ग्यानी दानी तू है सिध्हिदाता, सबके लिए तेरा प्यार बरसता | तेरी लीला जग में है न्यारी, करता है तू मुसे की सवारी || (जयदेव जयदेव)
मन की आँखें ढूंढे है तुझको, दे दो अब तो दर्शन हमको | अपने सेवक के घर पे तू आना, संकट में हम सब की रक्षा तू करना || (जयदेव जयदेव)
सिंदूर लाल चढायो अपने ही मन का, सुन्दर लाल विराजे सूत गौरी शिव का | हाथ में है गूढ़ लड्डू प्रभु गजानन के, महिमा कहू तो कैसे, झुकाऊ सिर पद में || (जयदेव जयदेव)
जय जय श्री गजराज विद्या सुख दाता, हर विघ्न हरता | धन्य दर्शन तुम्हारा मेरा मन रमता || (जयदेव जयदेव)
(जयदेव जयदेव जय मंगल मूर्ति, हो श्रीमंगल मूर्ति, दर्शनमात्रे मनन कामना पूर्ति जयदेव जयदेव) - २

Stranger

A while ago, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on. As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche. My parents were complementary instructors: Mom taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey. But the stranger...he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries and comedies.If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict the future! He took my family to the first major league ball game. He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind. Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushing each other to listen to what he had to say, and she would go to the kitchen for peace and quiet. (I wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to leave.) Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but the stranger never felt obligated to honor them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our home... Not from us, our friends or any visitors. Our longtime visitor, however, got away with four-letter words that burned my ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush. My Dad didn't permit the liberal use of alcohol. But the stranger encouraged us to try it on a regular basis. He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly and pipes distinguished. He talked freely (much too freely!) about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing. I now know that my early concepts about relationships were influenced strongly by the stranger. Time after time, he opposed the values of my parents, yet he was seldom rebuked... And NEVER asked to leave. More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our family. He has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as he was at first. Still, if you could walk into my parents' den today, you would still find him sitting over in his corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures.

His name?.... .. .

We just call him 'TV.'

(Note: This should be required reading for every household!)


He has a wife now....We call her 'Computer.'

Their first child is "Cell Phone".
Second child "I Pod"

THE FASTEST RUNNER

A princess once declared that she would marry the person who defeated her in running a race. She was an accomplished runner and was adamant that her suitor should be a better runner than her. Many princes from near and far came to contest a race with her. One by one, she ran a race with each one of them; but each time she was the winner. She hurt the ego of many a vain and handsome prince.

As news of this peculiar condition for the hand of the princess spread, more and more princes and nobles came to try their luck. But destiny was always tilted in favour of the princess. She was getting more and more famous as the faster runner, here and yonder. But there was one drawback too and that was that she was getting older and her parents feared that she may die an old maid!

One day a handsome young boy asked for an audience with the king. He said, “Lord, I have a request to make. Please give me the finest jewels of your queen, just for a day. I shall return them to you tomorrow, in double. The king was intrigued. He asked his queen to give her best jewels to the boy. Somehow, he found a strange look of serenity on the face of the lad and his gut feeling said that the fellow was not a crook. The boy tied the jewels in a bandana and went out. A few minutes later he sought an audience with the princess. He challenged her to a race. She guffawed at the sight of his bare feet and his bandana bag. But she agreed to race with him.

As soon as they started, the lad took a giant leap forward and dropped the most beautiful pieces of jewellery from his bandana there. As he moved forward in leaps and bounds he kept dropping pieces of precious jewellery on the track. The princess saw the beautiful gold necklace; its diamonds and sapphires sparkling in the sun! She dashed forward to pick it up and ran again. A few steps ahead, she found a lovely jhumka for the ear, but it was only one, where was its pair? She ran further in search of the other one and found it further down the track. She continued to run, collecting the jewellery all along.

The young fellow meanwhile had long since reached his destination. By the time the princess reached, she was loaded with jewels, but she had lost the race!

So, as per the condition, the boy was to marry the princess! Imagine the surprise of the king, when he saw his daughter, wearing all the family jewels, standing beside the familiar face that had cast its spell on the king!

This happens in life too. If we stop at each juncture in life to gather, then our luggage increases and the race of life becomes hard to run. On the other hand if we travel light with an eye only on the goal, then we reach our destination faster.

Her name was Rose

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being. She said, 'Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?' I laughed and enthusiastically responded 'Of course you may!' and she gave me a giant squeeze. 'Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?' I asked. She jokingly replied, 'I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids....' 'No seriously,' I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age. 'I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!' she told me. After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this 'time machine' as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.
Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she revelled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up. At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, 'I'm sorry I'm so jittery.I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me!I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.'
As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, ' We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humour every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up... If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.' She concluded her speech by courageously singing 'The Rose.' She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives...

At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.