Self Appraisal

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits (phone numbers). The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation: Boy: "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn? Woman: (at the other end of the phone line): "I already have someone to cut my lawn." Boy: "Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now." Woman: I'm very satisfied with the person who is presently cutting my lawn. Boy: (with more perseverance) : "Lady, I'll even sweep your house and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach , Florida." Woman: No, thank you. With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy. Store Owner: "Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job." Boy: "No thanks, Store Owner: But you were really pleading for one. Boy: No Sir, I was just checking my performance at the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady I was talking to!" This is what we call "Self Appraisal"

!! Few Memories of School Days !!

1. On being Late:

"Kab shuru hui class?"

"Attendance ho gayi kya??"

"Kal raat der tak gappe marte rahe yaar"

"Aab nind nahi khuli to mein kya karu........ . bolna ....... kal kya
padaya tha isne"

"Ek page de na.......... abey pen bhi to de, nahi to kisse
likhunga.... ..."

" koi subah kaise aa sakta hai........"

"wo bhi iss class ke liye "


2. During the lecture:

"Yesss!!!! Sirrr....... The answer is

........huuuummmmm. .......aaaaaaaa. ......... ..."

"No sir.....I know the answer .......sir.. .."

"Saala apne aapko Newton samajta hai"

"Abe lecture ko maar goli..... Kareena kya lag rahi hai aaj........"

"Uski tshirt pe kya likha hai dekh"

"Uske bagal mein nahi baith sakta tha kya.......gadha. ......"

"Kya bore kar raha hai. Bola tha canteen chalte hain .."

"Heads, we go canteen , Tails, we go now!!!"

3. Lab:

"Expt. 2 likha??"

"last time tu aaya the kya?""

"Karna kya hai??"

"Yeh bhai.....merko pata hota to tere pass kyon aata........"

"Areee tu to bura maan gaya .......chal dikha na.....bhau kyo kata
hai...."





4. Sessionals Test:

"sessionals test???? ......Aree yaar...... "

"Kya........ abe unit test mein itna sara topic hai to final mein kya
hoga...."

"Oye Sushil kaha hai......uska roll number mere baad hai.......wo nahi
aaya to mein pakka fail...."

After test......

"yaar pada tha....recall nahi kar paya.......chhod na ....... Canteen
chalega..." SAHI !!





5. For attendance

"I was in the class, attendence bolna bhool gaya "

"Oye usko thoda khush kar list se tera naam hata dega........"

"Bola tha proxy regularly maar........ Saale tera class karne ka kya
faida hua....."



6. Late submission of assignments:

" Maine us ko bola thaa ki copy karke mera assgnment bhi saath mein
submit kar dena"

"Ab mein kya karu usne mereko bole bina hi submit kar diya........"

"They should allow XEROX....... ..sala system hi kharab hai "



7 . After exam:

"Yeh bhi syllabus mein thaa kya? Shitt..."

"kya bol raha hai yaar..aise karna tha kya"

"1st mein 3 marks.....2nd mein 0.......3rd mein 2.......
Gaya ..........fail pakka......."

"Yaar notice lagte hi hata dena........ wo kya soochegi mera marks dekh
kar......"



8 . VIVA (b4 exam):

"Submission ab tak hua nahi hai , VIVA kya ghanta doonga"

"Aeee.......Akash. ....terese kya kya poocha....mood kaisa hai.."

"External ke ghar mein bacche nahi hai kya......."

"Dekh Boss!! external bhi aadmi hai. Usko pata hai students ki ab tak
preparation nahi hui hai"



9 . Submission:

"Ye bhi chhapna hai kya?"

"kaat kaat ke likh le...kaon padhta hai"

"Iska bhi print-out lena hai kya?"

"Jai ho computer baba ki......jai ho Ctrl C - Ctrl V ki......."

"Tujhe Sir ka sign aata hai kya?"





10 .Copying Assignments:

"Ye tune kya likha hai????"

(The best one)

"Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh, jo nahi samajh mein aa raha
hai uska drawing nikal"

"Phir bhi, kuch to idea hoga??"

" Maine uska likha hai, mera assignment check ho gaya, tu bhi wohi kar."

"Koi hint........"

"Are baba ghaseet de........na tu samjega na wo........"



12. Exam:

"Jo (mujhe) aata hai, woh (paper mein)aata nahi hai; jo nahi aata hai
woh NAHI aata hai" ..VERY VERY TRUE !!

"ye question 2 saal se nahi poochha hai yaar....to ab kya poochenge"

"ye last time hi poochha thaa......is baar nahi aana chahiye"

"tere paas is ke notes hai??"

"Neend aa rahi mujhe to...thodi der so jata hoo..utha diyo pakka"

"woh chapter... mark weightage 6 marks... (facial ex-pressions speaks
the story)"

"nahi samjha to rat le" - PERFECT ONE

"Iss paper mein roll number ke kya order hai........"

"Ek aur din ka gap de dete to kya 3rd World War ho jata tha kya......... ."
I AGREE !! !!

This one is dedicated to all my friends:


"bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai

Aaj har wo din jeene ko man karta hai.

kuch buri batein jo ab acchi lagti hain

kuch batein jo kal ki hi batein lagti hain.

abki baar class attend karne ka man karta hai

Dopahar ki class mein aakhein band karne ko man karta hai.

Doston ke room ki wo baatein yaad aati hai

exam ke time pe wo hasi mazak yaad aati hai,

college ke paas wala “Lajoo ka dhabe aor Khoke” ki yaad aati hai

tab ki bekar lagne wali photos chehre pe hasi laati hai.

Apni galtiyon pe tumse daat khana yaad aata hai.

Par tumhari galti dekhne ka ab bhi mann karta hai.

Ek aisi subah uthne ka mann karta hai

bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai.

bas ek bar aur

wapas lautne ka man karta hai."

Asset Valuation - Fine Example

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York . My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden ( ? ) , $250k annual income is not enough.I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)2) Which age group should I target?3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)Ms. PrettyAwesome Reply:Dear Ms.. Pretty,I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here. From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you.. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of 'beauty' and 'money': Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a 'trading position'. If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or 'leased'. Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in 'leasing' services, do contact me...signed, CEO J.P.. Morgan :-)

Why do we Nod to say No and Shake our head to say Yes ??

clipped from: www.straightdope.com

---

No less a personage than Charles Darwin looked into it

---

Nodding and head-shaking turned out to be pretty common, but there were some striking exceptions. For example, certain Australian natives, when uttering a negative, "don't shake the head, but holding up the right hand, shake it by turning it half round and back again two or three times."

---

Abyssinians said "no" by jerking the head to the right shoulder and making a slight cluck, while "yes" was expressed by the head being thrown backwards and the eyebrows raised for an instant.

---

The Dyaks of Borneo supposedly raised their eyebrows for "yes" and slightly contracted them, "together with a peculiar look of the eyes," for "no." Eskimoes nodded for "yes" and winked for "no."

---

where they completely reverse the meaning of our nod and head-shake gestures is Bulgaria. There a nod means no and a shake means yes.

---

One shudders to think of the implications this has for cross-cultural dating in that country.

Excellence -- An example

A German once visited a temple under construction where he saw a sculptor making an idol of God. Suddenly he noticed a similar idol lying nearby. Surprised, he asked the sculptor, "Do you need two statues of the same idol?" "No," said the sculptor without looking up, "We need only one, but the first one got damaged at the last stage." The gentleman examined the idol and found no apparent damage. "Where is the damage?" he asked. "There is a scratch on the nose of the idol." said the sculptor, still busy with his work. "Where are you going to install the idol?"

The sculptor replied that it would be installed on a pillar twenty feet high. "If the idol is that far, who is going to know that there is a scratch on the nose?" the gentleman asked. The sculptor stopped his work, looked up at the gentleman, smiled and said, "I will know it."
The desire to excel is exclusive of the fact whether someone else appreciates it or not.

"Excellence" is a drive from inside, not outside. Excellence is not for someone else to notice but for your own satisfaction and efficiency..

UnParalleled Determination

In 1883, a creative engineer named John Roebling was inspired by an idea to build a spectacular bridge connecting New York with the Long Island. However bridge building experts throughout the world thought that this was an impossible feat and told Roebling to forget the idea. It just could not be done. It was not practical. It had never been done before.

Roebling could not ignore the vision he had in his mind of this bridge. He thought about it all the time and he knew deep in his heart that it could be done. He just had to share the dream with someone else. After much discussion and persuasion he managed to convince his son Washington, an up and coming engineer, that the bridge in fact could be built.

Working together for the first time, the father and son developed concepts of how it could be accomplished and how the obstacles could be overcome. With great excitement and inspiration, and the headiness of a wild challenge before them, they hired their crew and began to build their dream bridge.

The project started well, but when it was only a few months underway a tragic accident on the site took the life of John Roebling. Washington was injured and left with a certain amount of brain damage, which resulted in him not being able to walk or talk or even move.

"We told them so." "Crazy men and their crazy dreams." "It`s foolish to chase wild visions."

Everyone had a negative comment to make and felt that the project should be scrapped since the Roeblings were the only ones who knew how the bridge could be built. In spite of his handicap Washington was never discouraged and still had a burning desire to complete the bridge and his mind was still as sharp as ever.

He tried to inspire and pass on his enthusiasm to some of his friends, but they were too daunted by the task. As he lay on his bed in his hospital room, with the sunlight streaming through the windows, a gentle breeze blew the flimsy white curtains apart and he was able to see the sky and the tops of the trees outside for just a moment.

It seemed that there was a message for him not to give up. Suddenly an idea hit him. All he could do was move one finger and he decided to make the best use of it. By moving this, he slowly developed a code of communication with his wife.

He touched his wife's arm with that finger, indicating to her that he wanted her to call the engineers again. Then he used the same method of tapping her arm to tell the engineers what to do. It seemed foolish but the project was under way again.

For 13 years Washington tapped out his instructions with his finger on his wife's arm, until the bridge was finally completed. Today the spectacular Brooklyn Bridge stands in all its glory as a tribute to the triumph of one man's indomitable spirit and his determination not to be defeated by circumstances. It is also a tribute to the engineers and their team work, and to their faith in a man who was considered mad by half the world. It stands too as a tangible monument to the love and devotion of his wife who for 13 long years patiently decoded the messages of her husband and told the engineers what to do.

Perhaps this is one of the best examples of a never-say-die attitude that overcomes a terrible physical handicap and achieves an impossible goal.

Often when we face obstacles in our day-to-day life, our hurdles seem very small in comparison to what many others have to face. The Brooklyn Bridge shows us that dreams that seem impossible can be realised with determination and persistence, no matter what the odds are.

Firing Employees - An Alternative

Cost-cutting is an essential component of survival.
Companies are looking to save money, and cutting salaries yields larger savings. Restructuring correctly is not an easy task, nor a decision to be taken lightly.

Before you start firing employees, here are three alternatives to consider:

1. Automate decision making and manual tasks

Workflow software automates employee tasks enabling to relocate employee resources from their current jobs to jobs that need manual intervention, thus releasing workloads and making the employee's contribution to the company more efficient.

2. Make existing employees more efficient.

Your goal is making employees work smarter, faster, more consistently and with more focus on value creation.

• If organizational changes cause employees to find themselves less effective - retrain and relocate them.
• Automating and improving internal business processes increases efficiency, productivity, and operational visibility facilitating better utilization of available human resources.

3. Re-evaluate employees that don't contribute

• Look for the person who is invisible and flies under the radar
• Look for the person who never says anything
• Look for the person that has others doing his tasks
• Look for the person that has survived because of their social skills, not their productive skills.
• Look for the person that their work quality is never above mediocre

Talk to these employees, explain your concerns. Get their approval to be moved to another group in the organisation for a trail period. Enable them to "start a new page".
Moving these employees from their current group to another group causes vacuums in the organization, leaving opportunities for existing employees to grow and show their worth.

Your employees are the ones that ultimately deliver customer satisfaction and create value in your business.

My extempor after a long time

Today, as part of recruitment process, I was asked to write on a topic of my choice. And after writing few lines about this topic, I felt little good.

My topic of choice would be: Our Quest for Knowledge

Each one of us has been gifted some time to spend here in this world. We all are born with a particular specification (genome in biological lingo). We all then spend initial years while learning the ways of this world. And then a time comes when one gets a chance to have a first hand experience of this world. This transition happens quite a many times in our life span it seems. Any such transition. say, from a mother’s lap to the floor, from home to school, school to college, one company to another company, one business to another business, one region to another region, gives us an immense opportunity to learn new things, things which are peculiar to the new environment and hence is new to us. Change is always for the better, be it in short term or long term. And hence I believe that the process of learn, then un-learn and re-learn keeps continuing for us as long as we wish it to continue. And I personally believe that the day we stop this process, our growth would cease. The very belief that each day that I live would give me an opportunity to learn something new or look at something I already know from a different perspective instills energy and motivation within me. I just hope I keep myself among people and in an environment where I can stand upon my belief without any doubt.

I intend to keep it as a record for myself, so that I can come back and look at it every time I feel lost or alone here in my journey in pursuit of happyness.

!! Do it Anyway !!

I read this article at http://www.beliefnet.com/Inspiration/2009/03/Better-Days-Ahead.aspx?source=NEWSLETTER and found it quite a learning. Hence have put it here for future.

***********************************************************************

"Do you like doing things for people?" I asked a friend.

"Yes, most of the time," she replied.

"Most of the time?"

"Well, I love to do things that are unexpected. I like to do little things most people wouldn't think about doing," she said.

"But why did you say most of the time?"

"Well, sometimes after doing those little things people take advantage of you. I mean, they expect you to do it again. They ask you to do it. That's when I don't like it."

It was odd that I had this conversation. This just happened to me. I too love to do little things. I will pay for a meal card for the people in the office every time we have a meeting there. Not a big thing. It's a little thing. $5.30 will pay for almost five lunches. Hey, big spender!

But it's not the amount, it's the idea, the fact that I did something.

I also ran out a few weeks ago and bought a bag of animal crackers for a friend at work. She was having a tough day and not very happy at all. I drove down to the Wal-Mart and picked up a huge bag for under $2.00. Her smile was worth it.

But this week she said, "Bob, we ran out of crackers. We love them so much." I didn't want to do it. I smiled and she persisted. I finally admitted, "It's different when I do it because I want to, but now you are trying to make me go get them. It's not the same."

So that voice inside of me struggled with it. I tried and won out over that feeling and stayed right there in the office a while longer so as to avoid caving in. That is until I overheard her talking. The boss was having "one of those days" and unfairly chose her to point the finger at her in front of everyone. She was almost in tears when I heard her sharing the moment with a coworker. I had to go.

It’s about five miles to the store from there. I had to park at the extreme lower end of the lot. It was bitter cold—in the single digits on Tuesday. But when I got out of my car I stepped into summer. How?

Seagulls. Yes, there were three or four gulls flying above me. I heard one cry out as it glided on the cold, brisk air above. I immediately closed my eyes and I was transported from a strip mall parking lot to the seashore at Wildwood, New Jersey. I pictured in my mind that I was walking along the boardwalk, and the birds provided the perfect background sounds. "Ahhhhhh, summer!"

I hurried to the cookie aisle and found what I was looking for. Rushing out to the register, I walked through the bakery and stopped dead in my tracks.

"I'll get some bread to feed the gulls. Just like Wildwood!" I rushed out the door and walked down to the other end of the lot.

A bird flew over and I motioned that I had food. It hovered above waiting patiently for the treat. I ripped open the bag and threw a slice in the air. He grabbed it just like they always do. I looked around for the other three birds and...out of nowhere...without exaggerating...at least thirty gulls came to see what I had.

"Screeeechhhh...Caaaaaawwwwww!" They crashed into each other as they dive bombed me. I was overpowered by the number and finally dumped the entire loaf on the ground and ran to my car. I was laughing and so full of excitement. The tip of my nose was frozen and the tears of joy running down my face burned against my dry, cold skin. "Summer! I love it!"

So what 's my point here? Every time you do little things, big things happen.

Upon my return I expected her to be thrilled that I went out of my way. She hardly acknowledged me. I shrugged it off and left. I did what I thought in my heart was the right thing to do.

She got the cookies. Me? I got to feed seagulls at the Jersey shore in early March, and I got a glimpse of better days ahead.

***********************************************************************

Rose

Here is a sweet poem about two lovers. When I read it the first time, it really brought tears to my eyes. And since then, I have kept it close to my heart. The best part of this poem is that it brings out the power of love and proves how eternal it is.

Red roses were her favorites, her name was also Rose.

And every year her husband sent them, tied with pretty bows.

The year he died, the roses were delivered to her door.

The card said, "Be my Valentine", like all the years before.

Each year he sent her roses, and the note would always say,

"I love you even more this year, than last year on this day.

My love for you will always grow, with every passing year.

"She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear.

She thought, he ordered roses in advance before this day.

Her loving husband did not know, that he would pass away.

He always liked to do things early, way before the time.

Then, if he got too busy, everything would work out fine.

She trimmed the stems, and placed them in a very special vase.

Then, sat the vase beside the portrait of his smiling face.

She would sit for hours, in her husband's favorite chair.

While staring at his picture, and the roses sitting there.

A year went by, and it was hard to live without her mate.

With loneliness and solitude, that had become her fate.

Then, the very hour, as on Valentines before,

The doorbell rang, and there were roses, sitting by her door.

She brought the roses in, and then just looked at them in shock.

Then, went to get the telephone, to call the florist shop.

The owner answered, and she asked him, if he would explain,

Why would someone do this to her, causing her such pain?

"I know your husband passed away, more than a year ago,

"The owner said, "I knew you'd call, and you would want to know.

The flowers you received today, were paid for in advance.

Your husband always planned ahead, he left nothing to chance.

There is a standing order, that I have on file down here,

And he has paid, well in advance, you'll get them every year.

There also is another thing, that I think you should know,

He wrote a special little card... he did this years ago.

Then, should ever I find out that he's no longer here,

That's the card...that should be sent, to you the following year."

She thanked him and hung up, her tears now flowing hard.

Her fingers shaking, as she slowly reached to get the card.

Inside the card she saw that he had written her a note.

Then, as she stared in total silence, this is what he wrote...

"Hello my love, I know it's been a year since I've been gone,

I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome.

I know it must be lonely, and the pain is very real.

For if it was the other way, I know how I would feel.

The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life.

I loved you more than words can say, you were the perfect wife.

You were my friend and lover, you fulfilled my every need.
I know it's only been a year, but please try not to grieve.

I want you to be happy, even when you shed your tears.

That is why the roses will be sent to you for years.

When you get these roses, think of all the happiness,

That we had together, and how both of us were blessed.

I have always loved you and I know I always will.

But, my love, you must go on, you have some living still.

Please...try to find happiness, while living out your days.

I know it is not easy, but I hope you find some ways.

The roses will come every year, and they will only stop,

When your door's not answered, when the florist stops to knock.

He will come five times that day, in case you have gone out.

But after his last visit, he will know without a doubt,

To take the roses to the place, where I've instructed him,

And place the roses where we are, together once again."

These lines are dedicated to someone very special in my life. I would wish this person lives happily ever in life.
*************************************************************************************
They said it: Love is about giving ... giving happiness and care ... giving love, there is no question of asking love in return.

Love is not a business.

Its not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game, that counts!

Work like you don't need the money.

Dance like no one is watching, and love like you have never been hurt.

When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen.

There will be something solid for us to stand on or we will be taught to fly.
*************************************************************************************

Tax benefits from Health Insurance

Health, though important, is by far the most neglected aspect when it comes to health expenses. Notwithstanding the rising medical expenses - thanks
to the hectic lifestyle - not many people in the country today have adequate insurance covers.

While the public may not be concerned, government ensures that citizens protect themselves and their dear ones with adequate medical cover by giving tax breaks on expenses incurred for getting health insured.

HEALTH INSURANCE

Premium paid up to Rs 15,000 on a medical insurance policy is exempted from tax under section 80D of the Income Tax Act. A tax-payer paying premium toward insurance cover of dependant parents shall be entitled to an additional tax benefit of up to Rs 15,000.

If the parents are senior citizens, then this limit gets enhanced to Rs 20,000. Thus, the maximum tax benefit that a taxpayer can now avail by insuring the health of his/her entire family (including dependant parents) is Rs 30,000 or Rs 35,000 as the case may be.

MEDICAL EXPENSES

Salaried employees are eligible for taxfree medical reimbursement from their employer up to a maximum of Rs 15,000 per annum. If the tax-payer incurs expenses (up to Rs 50,000)for medical treatment (including nursing, training and rehabilitation ) of a disabled dependant, the same shall be reduced from the taxable income per annum under section 80DD. Where however, the dependant suffers from severe disability, the amount of deduction shall be Rs 75,000 per annum.

Disability, for the purpose of this section includes autism, cerebral palsy and also mental retardation.

Any amount spent on the medical treatment of a dependant suffering from diseases like cancer, AIDS, Parkinson’s disease, chronic renal failure, Thalassaemia etc. can be claimed as a deduction from the taxable income up to a maximum of Rs 40,000 under section 80DDB of the Income Tax Act. In case the dependant is a senior citizen, the amount of deduction shall get enhanced to Rs 60,000 per annum.

LIFE INSURANCE

Any amount paid as a premium to cover the life of the tax-payer , his/her spouse or children shall be eligible for deduction from the total taxable income under section 80C of the Income Tax Act, up to a maximum of Rs 1 lakh per annum.

It is however important to note that this deduction is applicable provided the amount of premium paid does not exceed 20% of the sum assured by the insurance policy. (Sum assured is the amount ought to be received by the policy-holder from the insurance company after completion of the policy term. This term is usually referred to in case of endowment and money-back plans.)

Lessons from management

Short Selling and Short Squeeze

At any given point, only a certain amount of a publicly traded company’s stock is floating freely in the market. The rest is held in various portfolios, funds, and investment vehicles. Now, everyone’s familiar with the basic idea behind the stock market: you buy stock when it costs little, and you sell it when it costs a lot, profiting on the difference.

But that assumes a company’s value is going to increase. What if, instead of betting a company will go up, you want to make money betting the company will go down? You can — by selling stock you don’t own.

Say you borrow a certain amount of stock from someone who already owns it. You pay a fixed fee for borrowing the stock, and you sign a contract saying you will return exactly the same amount of stock you took after some amount of time. So, you might borrow a thousand shares of Apple stock from me (I don’t actually own any, but play along), pay me $100 for the privilege, and sign an obligation to return my stock in 3 months. At the time, Apple stock is worth $10 per share.

After you borrow the stock, you immediately sell it. At $10 a share, you get $10,000. Two and a half months later, another rumor about Steve Jobs’ health sends AAPL crashing to only $6 per share for a few hours, so you buy a thousand shares, costing you $6,000. You give me back those shares. Because you successfully bet the company would go down in value, you earned $4,000 minus the borrowing fee. This is called short-selling or shorting the stock, and the downside is obvious: if your bet was wrong, you would have lost money buying back the shares that you have to return to your lender.

When Volkswagen’s share price exceeded the point where it made sense for Porsche to buy the company, a number of hedge funds realized that Volkswagen shares have nowhere to go but down. With Porsche out of the picture, there was simply no reason for VW to keep going up, and the funds were willing to bet on it. So they shorted huge amounts of VW stock, borrowing it from existing owners and selling it into circulation, waiting for the price drop they considered inevitable.

Porsche anticipated exactly this situation and promptly bought up much of these borrowed VW shares that the funds were selling. Do you see where this is going? Analysts did. According to The Economist, Adam Jonas from Morgan Stanley warned clients not to play “billionaire’s poker” against Porsche. Porsche denied any foul play, saying it wasn’t doing anything unusual.

But then, last October 26th, they stepped forward and bared their portfolio: through a combination of stock and options, they owned 75% of Volkswagen, which is almost all the company’s circulating stock. (The remainder is tied up in funds that cannot easily release it.)

To put it mildly, the numbers scared the living hell out of the hedge funds: if they didn’t immediately buy back the Volkswagen stock they were shorting, there might not be any left to buy later, and it isn’t their stock — they have to return it to someone. If their only option is thus to buy the VW stock from Porsche, then the miracle of supply and demand will hit again, and Porsche can ask for whatever price it wants per VW share — twenty times their value, a hundred times their value — because there’s no other place to buy. They’re the only game in town.

And that, my friends, is called a short squeeze.

Variable Change - Interesting concept I learn

While watching movie '21', there was a puzzle which made me think for a while before accepting what was told in the movie. Then one day, I went on internet and searched about the concept of Variable Change. To my surprise, many other viewers had come to internet to find answer to that puzzle discussed in the movie.

It was about a game show where a player is shown three doors behind one of which is the precious gift which the player can win if he correctly tells which door is it.

After little search on net, I found this link on internet useful in understanding the puzzle.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monty_Hall_problem

Sometimes, movies just dont stop at entertaining our lives, they do give us other learnings which we otherwise would never come across :)

Cheers,
Sachin

What is STLC

Test Requirements

Requirement Specification documents
Functional Specification documents
Design Specification documents (use cases, etc)
Use case Documents
Test Trace-ability Matrix for identifying Test Coverage

Test Planning

Test Scope, Test Environment
Different Test phase and Test Methodologies
Manual and Automation Testing
Defect Mgmt, Configuration Mgmt, Risk Mgmt. Etc
Evaluation & identification ? Test, Defect tracking tools

Test Environment Setup

Test Bed installation and configuration
Network connectivity?s
All the Software/ tools Installation and configuration
Coordination with Vendors and others

Test Design
Test Traceability Matrix and Test coverage
Test Scenarios Identification & Test Case preparation
Test data and Test scripts preparation
Test case reviews and Approval
Base lining under Configuration Management

Test Automation

Automation requirement identification
Tool Evaluation and Identification.
Designing or identifying Framework and scripting
Script Integration, Review and Approval
Base lining under Configuration Management

Test Execution and Defect Tracking

Executing Test cases
Testing Test Scripts
Capture, review and analyze Test Results
Raised the defects and tracking for its closure

Test Reports and Acceptance

Test summary reports
Test Metrics and process Improvements made
Build release
Receiving acceptance

Know your Credit Report Card

Following information is sourced from Rediff Money article: http://www.rediff.com/money/2008/dec/29what-everyone-must-know-about-cibil.htm

Currently banks, financial institutions, state financial corporations, non-banking financial companies, housing finance companies and credit card companies are members of CIBIL.

The idea behind setting up CIBIL is to gather all existing consumer and commercial credit information and pool it in a one-point source, for reference.

As in, an individual or commercial establishment could have accounts in several banks and credit from different lending institutions. All such data can be pulled out at one single point, for a quick reference check on the individual or commercial establishment seeking a loan.

This helps the lender, be aware of the repayment track record of the loan seeker and quickly decide on loan eligibility. According to the nature of the track record, a borrower is given a credit score. A poor credit score will make getting a loan, a difficult proposition for the borrower.

CIBIL acts as weeding mechanism that helps identify poor repayment track records. It helps protect lenders from giving credit to people and establishments who are unlikely to repay what is lent. Even if credit is provided, it is done so at a very high rate of interest, thereby ensuring that the bank is able to recover a considerable sum of money even if a default happens some time into the loan tenure.

On the other hand, if you have an impeccable repayment track record, you can reap benefits from it! Banks provide a lower interest rate for sound credit profiles that have excellent credit scores and such 'Credit Information Reports' can work to your advantage.

It also helps lenders and banks quickly process a loan, without wasting valuable time on research and background check on the loan applicant.

Well, this is the brighter side of things. There is a flip side to this, too. As with all mass processing systems that are not dependent on a single source for information, there are quite a few things that could be incorrectly recorded in the credit information reports, which are stored with CIBIL.

Here are a few instances, detailed for your understanding:

Lack of updated info: You might have defaulted on a sum of money, say Rs 12,000 but repaid the sum later, maybe well past the due date for the payment. There could be instances where CIBIL did not get the updated info for its records. This will show up as a default and will affect the calculation of a good credit score.

Confusion of names: There can be thousands of names that are similar in the CIBIL database. Things can go haywire if a person who shares your name has defaulted and all his defaults get recorded in your file.

There was this one instance, which a loan applicant reported. Her name, Anju Jadeja, was confused with Anjum Taneja. Turns out Anjum Taneja passed away tragically in a freak accident, with nobody able to identify her until bank authorities decided to investigate the applicant after CIBIL corrected and ratified Anju Jadeja's credit report.

Till that point in time, the bank had put down Anjum's bouncing cheques, as defaults on loan payments in Anju's credit report. Today, Anju is a relieved woman.

Human input error: The information that goes from the banks to CIBIL on a loan or credit card payment default may have been erroneous due to a simple input error by one of the bank employees.

There was this instance when there was an accidental default of a month overdue payment of Rs 18,000 of one Tanushree Omkar. She cleared it the next month. However, the record that went to CIBI, had two additional zeroes, which made the default amount to Rs 18 lakh (Rs 1.8 million)!

Identity theft: This is the most serious of all causes of errors and can have a disastrous impact on a person's credit profile.

In recent times, identity thefts are on the rise. Right from a petty shopkeeper who swipes your card several times to sneak in an unofficial payment, to a terrorist who wants to access a billionaire's account in a remote corner of the world, identity theft is becoming a serious crime that needs to be checked.

If you are a victim of identity theft, like Anupam Shekar was, then it is time to get your financial log in order. Keep track of all the cards that you use or do not use. In Anupam's case, an impostor had captured his PAN card details using a clever ploy. Anupam recalled that someone had wanted to deliver a mail from his local bank only on the basis of identification and had been examining the PAN card given with great curiosity.

It was then that it struck him that anyone could access his mailbox in the huge apartment complex he resided in. The impostor then went on to open an account with a bank entering all the details he had gathered on Anupam by accessing his mailbox. Anupam did not know for a long time about this until he decided to apply for a new credit card and his bank rejected him outright, labelling him a defaulter. Anupam had to go to great lengths, spending precious time and energy, to clear his name.

Apparently, the impostor had directed all bank communication to another address, got a credit card on that account and spent indiscriminately until the card was locked by the bank due to several defaults on repayment.

The account was frozen but the impostor walked away scot free to scout for his next victim, but not before Anupam Shekar's credit report was tarnished beyond repair.

Fixing an incorrect CIBIL record

If you need to seek clarifications in your credit report, here are the steps you should follow:

a. Contact the bank that declined a credit card or loan application on the basis of your poor credit score. Ask them for a clarification on the poor credit score and request them to provide the control number for your credit report.

b. The bank will provide you with the control number of the credit report and also share the information on the credit report that is responsible for your poor credit score.

Get in touch with CIBIL by calling their help desk numbers at 1800 - 224 / 245 or +91 22 6638 4600 / 2281 7788 provided on their Web site, http://www.cibil.com/.

You could also drop in an email at info@cibil.com referring your credit report's control number. When attempting to clarify the information on your credit report, you need to inform CIBIL about the exact nature of the discrepancies in the report that you have been made aware of, by the bank.

The importance of the control number

The control number is a nine-digit unique number that helps CIBIL track an individual's credit t report from its database.

Banks feed in borrower data and personal information, which the CIBIL systems pool together. The control number is generated when banks pull out your credit report on a requirement basis.

The control number is generated every time any bank or credit institution pulls out a credit report on you. CIBIL requires this number because it enables them to view the exact details that the bank has seen when they drew a report on you. Hence, it is important for you to request the bank to provide you the control number.

Dealing with an uncooperative bank

When the bank is uncooperative you could post a complaint on the bank's Web site and if the bank does not respond within 15 days, you can register a complaint with the banking Ombudsman, presenting a copy of the complaint posted on the bank's Web site as proof.

You can either register this complaint through their Web site, http://www.bankingombudsman.rbi.org.in/ or locate the nearest branch office through this link, http://rbidocs.rbi.org.in/rdocs/Content/PDFs/68033.pdf to register your complaint.

Need for direct access to credit reports for borrowers

It is the need of the hour for CIBIL to allow borrowers to access their respective credit reports not only on cases when the information needs to be verified but also as a way for individuals to keep a tab on their money inflow and outflow.