THE FASTEST RUNNER

A princess once declared that she would marry the person who defeated her in running a race. She was an accomplished runner and was adamant that her suitor should be a better runner than her. Many princes from near and far came to contest a race with her. One by one, she ran a race with each one of them; but each time she was the winner. She hurt the ego of many a vain and handsome prince.

As news of this peculiar condition for the hand of the princess spread, more and more princes and nobles came to try their luck. But destiny was always tilted in favour of the princess. She was getting more and more famous as the faster runner, here and yonder. But there was one drawback too and that was that she was getting older and her parents feared that she may die an old maid!

One day a handsome young boy asked for an audience with the king. He said, “Lord, I have a request to make. Please give me the finest jewels of your queen, just for a day. I shall return them to you tomorrow, in double. The king was intrigued. He asked his queen to give her best jewels to the boy. Somehow, he found a strange look of serenity on the face of the lad and his gut feeling said that the fellow was not a crook. The boy tied the jewels in a bandana and went out. A few minutes later he sought an audience with the princess. He challenged her to a race. She guffawed at the sight of his bare feet and his bandana bag. But she agreed to race with him.

As soon as they started, the lad took a giant leap forward and dropped the most beautiful pieces of jewellery from his bandana there. As he moved forward in leaps and bounds he kept dropping pieces of precious jewellery on the track. The princess saw the beautiful gold necklace; its diamonds and sapphires sparkling in the sun! She dashed forward to pick it up and ran again. A few steps ahead, she found a lovely jhumka for the ear, but it was only one, where was its pair? She ran further in search of the other one and found it further down the track. She continued to run, collecting the jewellery all along.

The young fellow meanwhile had long since reached his destination. By the time the princess reached, she was loaded with jewels, but she had lost the race!

So, as per the condition, the boy was to marry the princess! Imagine the surprise of the king, when he saw his daughter, wearing all the family jewels, standing beside the familiar face that had cast its spell on the king!

This happens in life too. If we stop at each juncture in life to gather, then our luggage increases and the race of life becomes hard to run. On the other hand if we travel light with an eye only on the goal, then we reach our destination faster.

Her name was Rose

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being. She said, 'Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?' I laughed and enthusiastically responded 'Of course you may!' and she gave me a giant squeeze. 'Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?' I asked. She jokingly replied, 'I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids....' 'No seriously,' I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age. 'I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!' she told me. After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this 'time machine' as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.
Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she revelled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up. At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, 'I'm sorry I'm so jittery.I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me!I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.'
As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, ' We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humour every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up... If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.' She concluded her speech by courageously singing 'The Rose.' She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives...

At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

Alexander's Last Words ......

Meaning of Phrases used in E-mail

Commonly Used Phrases at the Office and what they really mean !
1. For your kind information, please (FYI).
Meaning : I don?t know what to do with this, so please keep it.
2. Review and Comment.
Meaning : Do the dirty job so that I can forward it.
3. Copy to.
Meaning : Share the headache.
4. Action is being taken.
Meaning : Your correspondence has been lost and I am trying to locate it.
5. Please discuss.
Meaning : I don?t know what the hell this is, so please brief me.
6. Regards.
Meaning : Thanks and bless you for reading all the crap.

Self Appraisal

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits (phone numbers). The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation: Boy: "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn? Woman: (at the other end of the phone line): "I already have someone to cut my lawn." Boy: "Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now." Woman: I'm very satisfied with the person who is presently cutting my lawn. Boy: (with more perseverance) : "Lady, I'll even sweep your house and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach , Florida." Woman: No, thank you. With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy. Store Owner: "Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job." Boy: "No thanks, Store Owner: But you were really pleading for one. Boy: No Sir, I was just checking my performance at the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady I was talking to!" This is what we call "Self Appraisal"

!! Few Memories of School Days !!

1. On being Late:

"Kab shuru hui class?"

"Attendance ho gayi kya??"

"Kal raat der tak gappe marte rahe yaar"

"Aab nind nahi khuli to mein kya karu........ . bolna ....... kal kya
padaya tha isne"

"Ek page de na.......... abey pen bhi to de, nahi to kisse
likhunga.... ..."

" koi subah kaise aa sakta hai........"

"wo bhi iss class ke liye "


2. During the lecture:

"Yesss!!!! Sirrr....... The answer is

........huuuummmmm. .......aaaaaaaa. ......... ..."

"No sir.....I know the answer .......sir.. .."

"Saala apne aapko Newton samajta hai"

"Abe lecture ko maar goli..... Kareena kya lag rahi hai aaj........"

"Uski tshirt pe kya likha hai dekh"

"Uske bagal mein nahi baith sakta tha kya.......gadha. ......"

"Kya bore kar raha hai. Bola tha canteen chalte hain .."

"Heads, we go canteen , Tails, we go now!!!"

3. Lab:

"Expt. 2 likha??"

"last time tu aaya the kya?""

"Karna kya hai??"

"Yeh bhai.....merko pata hota to tere pass kyon aata........"

"Areee tu to bura maan gaya .......chal dikha na.....bhau kyo kata
hai...."





4. Sessionals Test:

"sessionals test???? ......Aree yaar...... "

"Kya........ abe unit test mein itna sara topic hai to final mein kya
hoga...."

"Oye Sushil kaha hai......uska roll number mere baad hai.......wo nahi
aaya to mein pakka fail...."

After test......

"yaar pada tha....recall nahi kar paya.......chhod na ....... Canteen
chalega..." SAHI !!





5. For attendance

"I was in the class, attendence bolna bhool gaya "

"Oye usko thoda khush kar list se tera naam hata dega........"

"Bola tha proxy regularly maar........ Saale tera class karne ka kya
faida hua....."



6. Late submission of assignments:

" Maine us ko bola thaa ki copy karke mera assgnment bhi saath mein
submit kar dena"

"Ab mein kya karu usne mereko bole bina hi submit kar diya........"

"They should allow XEROX....... ..sala system hi kharab hai "



7 . After exam:

"Yeh bhi syllabus mein thaa kya? Shitt..."

"kya bol raha hai yaar..aise karna tha kya"

"1st mein 3 marks.....2nd mein 0.......3rd mein 2.......
Gaya ..........fail pakka......."

"Yaar notice lagte hi hata dena........ wo kya soochegi mera marks dekh
kar......"



8 . VIVA (b4 exam):

"Submission ab tak hua nahi hai , VIVA kya ghanta doonga"

"Aeee.......Akash. ....terese kya kya poocha....mood kaisa hai.."

"External ke ghar mein bacche nahi hai kya......."

"Dekh Boss!! external bhi aadmi hai. Usko pata hai students ki ab tak
preparation nahi hui hai"



9 . Submission:

"Ye bhi chhapna hai kya?"

"kaat kaat ke likh le...kaon padhta hai"

"Iska bhi print-out lena hai kya?"

"Jai ho computer baba ki......jai ho Ctrl C - Ctrl V ki......."

"Tujhe Sir ka sign aata hai kya?"





10 .Copying Assignments:

"Ye tune kya likha hai????"

(The best one)

"Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh, jo nahi samajh mein aa raha
hai uska drawing nikal"

"Phir bhi, kuch to idea hoga??"

" Maine uska likha hai, mera assignment check ho gaya, tu bhi wohi kar."

"Koi hint........"

"Are baba ghaseet de........na tu samjega na wo........"



12. Exam:

"Jo (mujhe) aata hai, woh (paper mein)aata nahi hai; jo nahi aata hai
woh NAHI aata hai" ..VERY VERY TRUE !!

"ye question 2 saal se nahi poochha hai yaar....to ab kya poochenge"

"ye last time hi poochha thaa......is baar nahi aana chahiye"

"tere paas is ke notes hai??"

"Neend aa rahi mujhe to...thodi der so jata hoo..utha diyo pakka"

"woh chapter... mark weightage 6 marks... (facial ex-pressions speaks
the story)"

"nahi samjha to rat le" - PERFECT ONE

"Iss paper mein roll number ke kya order hai........"

"Ek aur din ka gap de dete to kya 3rd World War ho jata tha kya......... ."
I AGREE !! !!

This one is dedicated to all my friends:


"bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai

Aaj har wo din jeene ko man karta hai.

kuch buri batein jo ab acchi lagti hain

kuch batein jo kal ki hi batein lagti hain.

abki baar class attend karne ka man karta hai

Dopahar ki class mein aakhein band karne ko man karta hai.

Doston ke room ki wo baatein yaad aati hai

exam ke time pe wo hasi mazak yaad aati hai,

college ke paas wala “Lajoo ka dhabe aor Khoke” ki yaad aati hai

tab ki bekar lagne wali photos chehre pe hasi laati hai.

Apni galtiyon pe tumse daat khana yaad aata hai.

Par tumhari galti dekhne ka ab bhi mann karta hai.

Ek aisi subah uthne ka mann karta hai

bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai.

bas ek bar aur

wapas lautne ka man karta hai."

Asset Valuation - Fine Example

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York . My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden ( ? ) , $250k annual income is not enough.I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)2) Which age group should I target?3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)Ms. PrettyAwesome Reply:Dear Ms.. Pretty,I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here. From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you.. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of 'beauty' and 'money': Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a 'trading position'. If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or 'leased'. Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in 'leasing' services, do contact me...signed, CEO J.P.. Morgan :-)