!! Few Memories of School Days !!

1. On being Late:

"Kab shuru hui class?"

"Attendance ho gayi kya??"

"Kal raat der tak gappe marte rahe yaar"

"Aab nind nahi khuli to mein kya karu........ . bolna ....... kal kya
padaya tha isne"

"Ek page de na.......... abey pen bhi to de, nahi to kisse
likhunga.... ..."

" koi subah kaise aa sakta hai........"

"wo bhi iss class ke liye "


2. During the lecture:

"Yesss!!!! Sirrr....... The answer is

........huuuummmmm. .......aaaaaaaa. ......... ..."

"No sir.....I know the answer .......sir.. .."

"Saala apne aapko Newton samajta hai"

"Abe lecture ko maar goli..... Kareena kya lag rahi hai aaj........"

"Uski tshirt pe kya likha hai dekh"

"Uske bagal mein nahi baith sakta tha kya.......gadha. ......"

"Kya bore kar raha hai. Bola tha canteen chalte hain .."

"Heads, we go canteen , Tails, we go now!!!"

3. Lab:

"Expt. 2 likha??"

"last time tu aaya the kya?""

"Karna kya hai??"

"Yeh bhai.....merko pata hota to tere pass kyon aata........"

"Areee tu to bura maan gaya .......chal dikha na.....bhau kyo kata
hai...."





4. Sessionals Test:

"sessionals test???? ......Aree yaar...... "

"Kya........ abe unit test mein itna sara topic hai to final mein kya
hoga...."

"Oye Sushil kaha hai......uska roll number mere baad hai.......wo nahi
aaya to mein pakka fail...."

After test......

"yaar pada tha....recall nahi kar paya.......chhod na ....... Canteen
chalega..." SAHI !!





5. For attendance

"I was in the class, attendence bolna bhool gaya "

"Oye usko thoda khush kar list se tera naam hata dega........"

"Bola tha proxy regularly maar........ Saale tera class karne ka kya
faida hua....."



6. Late submission of assignments:

" Maine us ko bola thaa ki copy karke mera assgnment bhi saath mein
submit kar dena"

"Ab mein kya karu usne mereko bole bina hi submit kar diya........"

"They should allow XEROX....... ..sala system hi kharab hai "



7 . After exam:

"Yeh bhi syllabus mein thaa kya? Shitt..."

"kya bol raha hai yaar..aise karna tha kya"

"1st mein 3 marks.....2nd mein 0.......3rd mein 2.......
Gaya ..........fail pakka......."

"Yaar notice lagte hi hata dena........ wo kya soochegi mera marks dekh
kar......"



8 . VIVA (b4 exam):

"Submission ab tak hua nahi hai , VIVA kya ghanta doonga"

"Aeee.......Akash. ....terese kya kya poocha....mood kaisa hai.."

"External ke ghar mein bacche nahi hai kya......."

"Dekh Boss!! external bhi aadmi hai. Usko pata hai students ki ab tak
preparation nahi hui hai"



9 . Submission:

"Ye bhi chhapna hai kya?"

"kaat kaat ke likh le...kaon padhta hai"

"Iska bhi print-out lena hai kya?"

"Jai ho computer baba ki......jai ho Ctrl C - Ctrl V ki......."

"Tujhe Sir ka sign aata hai kya?"





10 .Copying Assignments:

"Ye tune kya likha hai????"

(The best one)

"Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh, jo nahi samajh mein aa raha
hai uska drawing nikal"

"Phir bhi, kuch to idea hoga??"

" Maine uska likha hai, mera assignment check ho gaya, tu bhi wohi kar."

"Koi hint........"

"Are baba ghaseet de........na tu samjega na wo........"



12. Exam:

"Jo (mujhe) aata hai, woh (paper mein)aata nahi hai; jo nahi aata hai
woh NAHI aata hai" ..VERY VERY TRUE !!

"ye question 2 saal se nahi poochha hai yaar....to ab kya poochenge"

"ye last time hi poochha thaa......is baar nahi aana chahiye"

"tere paas is ke notes hai??"

"Neend aa rahi mujhe to...thodi der so jata hoo..utha diyo pakka"

"woh chapter... mark weightage 6 marks... (facial ex-pressions speaks
the story)"

"nahi samjha to rat le" - PERFECT ONE

"Iss paper mein roll number ke kya order hai........"

"Ek aur din ka gap de dete to kya 3rd World War ho jata tha kya......... ."
I AGREE !! !!

This one is dedicated to all my friends:


"bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai

Aaj har wo din jeene ko man karta hai.

kuch buri batein jo ab acchi lagti hain

kuch batein jo kal ki hi batein lagti hain.

abki baar class attend karne ka man karta hai

Dopahar ki class mein aakhein band karne ko man karta hai.

Doston ke room ki wo baatein yaad aati hai

exam ke time pe wo hasi mazak yaad aati hai,

college ke paas wala “Lajoo ka dhabe aor Khoke” ki yaad aati hai

tab ki bekar lagne wali photos chehre pe hasi laati hai.

Apni galtiyon pe tumse daat khana yaad aata hai.

Par tumhari galti dekhne ka ab bhi mann karta hai.

Ek aisi subah uthne ka mann karta hai

bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai.

bas ek bar aur

wapas lautne ka man karta hai."

Asset Valuation - Fine Example

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York . My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden ( ? ) , $250k annual income is not enough.I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)2) Which age group should I target?3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)Ms. PrettyAwesome Reply:Dear Ms.. Pretty,I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here. From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you.. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of 'beauty' and 'money': Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a 'trading position'. If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or 'leased'. Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in 'leasing' services, do contact me...signed, CEO J.P.. Morgan :-)

Why do we Nod to say No and Shake our head to say Yes ??

clipped from: www.straightdope.com

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No less a personage than Charles Darwin looked into it

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Nodding and head-shaking turned out to be pretty common, but there were some striking exceptions. For example, certain Australian natives, when uttering a negative, "don't shake the head, but holding up the right hand, shake it by turning it half round and back again two or three times."

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Abyssinians said "no" by jerking the head to the right shoulder and making a slight cluck, while "yes" was expressed by the head being thrown backwards and the eyebrows raised for an instant.

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The Dyaks of Borneo supposedly raised their eyebrows for "yes" and slightly contracted them, "together with a peculiar look of the eyes," for "no." Eskimoes nodded for "yes" and winked for "no."

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where they completely reverse the meaning of our nod and head-shake gestures is Bulgaria. There a nod means no and a shake means yes.

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One shudders to think of the implications this has for cross-cultural dating in that country.

Excellence -- An example

A German once visited a temple under construction where he saw a sculptor making an idol of God. Suddenly he noticed a similar idol lying nearby. Surprised, he asked the sculptor, "Do you need two statues of the same idol?" "No," said the sculptor without looking up, "We need only one, but the first one got damaged at the last stage." The gentleman examined the idol and found no apparent damage. "Where is the damage?" he asked. "There is a scratch on the nose of the idol." said the sculptor, still busy with his work. "Where are you going to install the idol?"

The sculptor replied that it would be installed on a pillar twenty feet high. "If the idol is that far, who is going to know that there is a scratch on the nose?" the gentleman asked. The sculptor stopped his work, looked up at the gentleman, smiled and said, "I will know it."
The desire to excel is exclusive of the fact whether someone else appreciates it or not.

"Excellence" is a drive from inside, not outside. Excellence is not for someone else to notice but for your own satisfaction and efficiency..

UnParalleled Determination

In 1883, a creative engineer named John Roebling was inspired by an idea to build a spectacular bridge connecting New York with the Long Island. However bridge building experts throughout the world thought that this was an impossible feat and told Roebling to forget the idea. It just could not be done. It was not practical. It had never been done before.

Roebling could not ignore the vision he had in his mind of this bridge. He thought about it all the time and he knew deep in his heart that it could be done. He just had to share the dream with someone else. After much discussion and persuasion he managed to convince his son Washington, an up and coming engineer, that the bridge in fact could be built.

Working together for the first time, the father and son developed concepts of how it could be accomplished and how the obstacles could be overcome. With great excitement and inspiration, and the headiness of a wild challenge before them, they hired their crew and began to build their dream bridge.

The project started well, but when it was only a few months underway a tragic accident on the site took the life of John Roebling. Washington was injured and left with a certain amount of brain damage, which resulted in him not being able to walk or talk or even move.

"We told them so." "Crazy men and their crazy dreams." "It`s foolish to chase wild visions."

Everyone had a negative comment to make and felt that the project should be scrapped since the Roeblings were the only ones who knew how the bridge could be built. In spite of his handicap Washington was never discouraged and still had a burning desire to complete the bridge and his mind was still as sharp as ever.

He tried to inspire and pass on his enthusiasm to some of his friends, but they were too daunted by the task. As he lay on his bed in his hospital room, with the sunlight streaming through the windows, a gentle breeze blew the flimsy white curtains apart and he was able to see the sky and the tops of the trees outside for just a moment.

It seemed that there was a message for him not to give up. Suddenly an idea hit him. All he could do was move one finger and he decided to make the best use of it. By moving this, he slowly developed a code of communication with his wife.

He touched his wife's arm with that finger, indicating to her that he wanted her to call the engineers again. Then he used the same method of tapping her arm to tell the engineers what to do. It seemed foolish but the project was under way again.

For 13 years Washington tapped out his instructions with his finger on his wife's arm, until the bridge was finally completed. Today the spectacular Brooklyn Bridge stands in all its glory as a tribute to the triumph of one man's indomitable spirit and his determination not to be defeated by circumstances. It is also a tribute to the engineers and their team work, and to their faith in a man who was considered mad by half the world. It stands too as a tangible monument to the love and devotion of his wife who for 13 long years patiently decoded the messages of her husband and told the engineers what to do.

Perhaps this is one of the best examples of a never-say-die attitude that overcomes a terrible physical handicap and achieves an impossible goal.

Often when we face obstacles in our day-to-day life, our hurdles seem very small in comparison to what many others have to face. The Brooklyn Bridge shows us that dreams that seem impossible can be realised with determination and persistence, no matter what the odds are.

Firing Employees - An Alternative

Cost-cutting is an essential component of survival.
Companies are looking to save money, and cutting salaries yields larger savings. Restructuring correctly is not an easy task, nor a decision to be taken lightly.

Before you start firing employees, here are three alternatives to consider:

1. Automate decision making and manual tasks

Workflow software automates employee tasks enabling to relocate employee resources from their current jobs to jobs that need manual intervention, thus releasing workloads and making the employee's contribution to the company more efficient.

2. Make existing employees more efficient.

Your goal is making employees work smarter, faster, more consistently and with more focus on value creation.

• If organizational changes cause employees to find themselves less effective - retrain and relocate them.
• Automating and improving internal business processes increases efficiency, productivity, and operational visibility facilitating better utilization of available human resources.

3. Re-evaluate employees that don't contribute

• Look for the person who is invisible and flies under the radar
• Look for the person who never says anything
• Look for the person that has others doing his tasks
• Look for the person that has survived because of their social skills, not their productive skills.
• Look for the person that their work quality is never above mediocre

Talk to these employees, explain your concerns. Get their approval to be moved to another group in the organisation for a trail period. Enable them to "start a new page".
Moving these employees from their current group to another group causes vacuums in the organization, leaving opportunities for existing employees to grow and show their worth.

Your employees are the ones that ultimately deliver customer satisfaction and create value in your business.

My extempor after a long time

Today, as part of recruitment process, I was asked to write on a topic of my choice. And after writing few lines about this topic, I felt little good.

My topic of choice would be: Our Quest for Knowledge

Each one of us has been gifted some time to spend here in this world. We all are born with a particular specification (genome in biological lingo). We all then spend initial years while learning the ways of this world. And then a time comes when one gets a chance to have a first hand experience of this world. This transition happens quite a many times in our life span it seems. Any such transition. say, from a mother’s lap to the floor, from home to school, school to college, one company to another company, one business to another business, one region to another region, gives us an immense opportunity to learn new things, things which are peculiar to the new environment and hence is new to us. Change is always for the better, be it in short term or long term. And hence I believe that the process of learn, then un-learn and re-learn keeps continuing for us as long as we wish it to continue. And I personally believe that the day we stop this process, our growth would cease. The very belief that each day that I live would give me an opportunity to learn something new or look at something I already know from a different perspective instills energy and motivation within me. I just hope I keep myself among people and in an environment where I can stand upon my belief without any doubt.

I intend to keep it as a record for myself, so that I can come back and look at it every time I feel lost or alone here in my journey in pursuit of happyness.